Perspective is found in the most ordinary series of events.

I spent this morning, as usual, in a friendly Starbucks between the parking garage and the Yale School of Medicine. Reading "When Things Fall Apart," I was reminded to be generously kind to myself, as I am generally my worst critic... and that in times of restlessness - refraining and practicing mindfulness can be more healing for people than trying harder to be a helpful person.

After meditating on the Chapters, I closed the book and had my coffee refilled. 

As I added cream and Splenda to my coffee, I barely noticed a woman grab a tissue to blow her nose behind me. A second woman next to me, preparing her coffee, was clearly repulsed. She paused and turned around, overtly engrossed in the grossness, and whispered "disgusting." I silently observed the situation - the second woman held a disgusted look, muttered repulsions, and gave the "evil eye" all the way out the door. I doubt the first woman even realized the second woman was grossed out. Altogether, the three of us had very different experiences in a span of 2 minutes and left Starbucks in very different mindsets.

I thought about the situation and it brought a welcomed reminder that everyone is different - and naturally people have different, sometimes relatively extreme, reactions to ordinary situations. Our extreme may be someone else's normality - and likewise vice versa. Among all of this, bystanders will undoubtedly have their own observation and experiences... and we will eventually all go our separate ways having experienced our own version of reality.

Moments later at work, a friend revealed a breakup situation that was all too familiar to me - both of us are in situations with uncanny similarities. The important details are that both of us are reluctantly single and trying to reconcile unexpected separations from long-distance relationships to which we felt wholly dedicated. I suddenly found myself looking into a mirror which somewhat clarified my situation... and reflecting on my last month allows me to be less critical of myself and move on to accept the only option that remains.

Both situations - at Starbucks and at work - remind me that life experiences between people are often likened to train wrecks. 

At some point, it becomes evident that the train wreck will happen -- but everyone is helpless to do anything as it happens. Further, the people in the train wreck will undoubtedly have extremely different perspectives on what happened -- as will the bystanders.

I compared situations, and then I also realized that some train wrecks happen in daylight... and some happen in complete darkness. The difference between the two is that everyone watching a train wreck in darkness may not know what's happening until the daylight hits -- only time can bring the dawn. Until then, invested people will undoubtedly scamper around the wreckage with flashlights to try avoid further disaster... while such actions are justifiable and well-meaning (and may indeed save lives), it is true that people will likely just hurt themselves in the wreckage and only complicate the situation.

Train wrecks in the night might best be left alone until dawn comes, so they can be properly addressed. Sadly, there may be nothing helpful to do but to leave the wreckage to sit during the night -- walk away and nurse your wounds and pray for whatever may happen during the night.

Making it through the night with peace-of-mind might involve Mindfulness, Refraining, and Meditation. Who knows -- in the morning, the apparent train wreck may be nothing more than spilled scrap metal.